Sowing without reaping

Still top in my thoughts these days are my daughter's two adorable foster girls. They will be turning 2 and 3 next month. They have brought us such joy. Both are very busy yet they will let you hold them for a moment and snuggle. They have smiles that melt hearts and when they look at you, you know their thoughts are deeper than they can verbalize.

We have now been warned that we may only have the gift of knowing and loving these girls for another month. It wasn't supposed to be this way. We were told that the odds of them going back to the mother were slim and that there were no other family members to take them in. My daughter and her spouse planned on adopting. Losing these little loves was not in the plans and barely considered, though we know that it is not over until it's over.

What my daughter's family has done is to love and nourish these girls when their mother could not. They have spent many a night up with them when they couldn't or wouldn't sleep. They have changed their diapers, fed them, played with them and read to them. They have tried to teach them the things all little ones must learn--sharing, saying please and thank you, be gentle with animals, helping with chores, picking up toys, potty training, etc. They even taught them some sign language. They took them to the weekly meetings with the mother and other appointments they needed to go to. They shopped for clothes and other things as needed. They took them to the beach and vacation and other fun activities.

The other children adapted as these two new girls moved into their home. They had to share the attention but they were great helpers and learned to be friends and protective older "siblings" to these two precious children.

They have all given of themselves. And now the bombshell. They have to know that the ripples of their lives have played an enormous part in the girls' well-being and development but they will never see them again or have any influence on their lives. They have to hope and pray that the foundations that they planted will be instilled in them, yet, at this young age, these girls will never remember any of us, All the love that came from the bottom of our hearts and the seeds that were planted, all smiles and giggles shared will never be remembered by them, but always remembered fondly by all of us.

Likewise, the mother of these children should be eternally grateful that there was a loving family that did more for her children than she will probably ever know and that those ripples were a catalyst in her life to get the help she needed to be an adequate mom. When she couldn't teach or take care of her children, someone did so and very well, as she picked up the pieces of her life. Now we pray that she can protect and provide for these little ones as much as they deserve. May they be safe, cared for and loved. 

The seeds have been sowed. Often we will not know the effects of our ripples and even those who we touched will not even know where this ripple has come from, but it is always there in the waters of life. 

"Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God."

Hebrews 13:16

"The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost." G.K. Chesterson

Letting Go

Our daughter has two foster girls aged 1 1/2 and 2 1/2. They are the sweetest and most lovable little girls. The oldest one is such a thinker and a very busy little lady. She can't sit still for very long at all.
The younger one is so huggable but when she is walking away from you has this adorable yet devilish smile that she will give you. It says, "I'm up to something." They are so much fun.

As soon as these precious pebbles landed on the waters of our lives, we were touched. The laughter and good times continue to grace our presence. We were told that the girls' mother would probably not recover from her issues and that these girls could become a part of this family forever. My daughter was ready to adopt. They had two boys previously where things happened just that way.

They knew there was a chance that the girls could go back to their Mom, but it was said to be unlikely. So, bonds reinforced by love and time strengthened between these girls and their new family.

Yesterday my daughter got the call from the social worker that the mother has been making a miraculous turn around in her life and is working hard to get the girls back. When once my daughter was told that they would have the girls through Christmas, now they may go back to their mother then.

Of course, children belong with their parents. That is the natural thing to wish but oh, the pain that their new family feels. Not only the loving grandparents, and my daughter and her partner, but their two boys. They haven't been told yet and it will be very hard on them--especially knowing their own mother never worked that hard to get them back. It is going to have psychological effects on them.

My daughter did her part and did it well. She loved and cared for those little girls when their own mother could not. They gave them the nourishment to keep these girls mentally stable and happy. They did a great job. Now their job is over.

The problem is, the heart still beats and breaks. Dreams of the family with two boys and two girls are over. Future dreams have been shattered in one strong blow. They have to "Love someone enough to let them go", whether they want to or not. There are still a couple of months of loving them left and we will all do our best but I know, as for myself, there will be some tears. We will all need strength as we go through these months.

These two little precious pebbles won our hearts. They have made ripples in our lives that we will forever remember. We thank God for the short time they were with us and pray that he watches over them all their lives.

UPDATE: The mother relapsed and the girls have been adopted by my daughter and her partner in their forever home.