The long journey to our second house Daily Reflections #13

I neglected to say in my previous post that our first home was named by the Porter's, "Stony Hill". There was a sign claiming that (I wish I had more pictures from then). When we decided to sell "Stony Hill", we were anxious about the timing of selling and buying a new home. We were afraid of getting stuck with two mortgages, which we could not do. 

We researched towns, the school systems and location in regard to where we worked and where family was located, and my heart was set on Barkhamsted. When a buyer was jumping through the hoops with the bank to buy our house, the closing date kept getting moved. We hadn't found a house and we were too afraid to be too serious about buying and were afraid this buyer was not going to be approved.

We came close to just forgetting the whole plan. We could just add on to the house to make room for our bigger family. Our realtor suggested that we find a rent for six months and then buy a house. So, we decided on that path. We found a rent in Colebrook and started packing.

One week before the closing, the landlord of the Colebrook house changed his mind for some reason. We had to scramble to find another place to live. That is when we learned there was a two-bedroom apartment in Barkhamsted available, that was fortunate because Barkhamsted does not have a large number of rentals. 

We went from "Stony Hill" to "Rocktree Apartments". For apartments, I was so pleased with the setting. There were three buildings, surrounded by trees. Our apartment had sliding doors to a deck with a view of Ski Sundown when it was lit up at night. It wasn't perfect--there was a mildew problem in the lower rooms. Although we got along with our neighbors, one sometimes liked to have late night parties when our kids were sleeping. But for the most part, we were pretty content at Rocktree.

There were two favorite memories for our children. First was the gazebo. This was a large, rectangular, covered wooden structure, with built in seats all along the edges. The kids loved playing there and it was the perfect place for both of our kids warm weather birthdays. We were so grateful for that.

The other was the proximity to the woods where there was a brook that led to (or from?) Stanclift Cove and Goosegreen Pond. In the winter we walked out on the ice. One summer we found a huge, deceased turtle. 

There were also other kids around for the kids to play with in a big backyard. I believe my kids made good memories there. That's the good news. The bad news is shortly after moving in, George lost his job. 

Here is the raw, transparent truth: I worked part time at the post office and George did whatever he could to help keep us afloat. He worked at several part time jobs. Time kept passing and we ended up having to pay capital gains. Six months turned into years--eight years to be exact. There were tough times and we started building a little credit card debt. I remember buying juice boxes and some other food items at department stores so I could use my credit card. It is good that grocery stores didn't accept credit cards at that time or I probably would have gotten us into deep credit card debt. We went from a house within our first year of marriage to being in debt a few years later. 

One of George's part time jobs was working for a cleaning company. It was then that George thought about having his own cleaning business and he told his boss, Bill Babbitt, that he was thinking of getting a cleaning account on his own. He didn't want to compete against him. Bill Babbitt was more than generous helping George and mentoring him into starting his own cleaning business. What a blessing! And Minuteman Cleaning was born and we started crawling out of our debt. 

As we lived through those times, we never stopped praying for our own house and had many people joining in our prayers. And in 1993, our prayers were answered better than we imagined they could be. Thanks to finding a little newspaper article , about this organization that wanted to help people build affordable homes, we were on our way to answered prayers, Like the rest of the journey, it had its problems. When we went to purchase the land, there was a town meeting and it was hard to hear some say, "Not in our neighborhood." They overlooked the fact that our home was going to be bigger than one of the other homes in the neighborhood and about the same as a couple others. There were several much bigger too. It was a diversified neighborhood. This program had only 2 plots of land for sale. 

We bought our land in Barkhamsted (--answer to prayer!) We chose a ranch because we wanted one floor for when we got older. We said we wanted it to be a home we could retire in and over 20 years later, we did just that. 

Our home is not huge, but it's in Barkhamsted and over 30 years later, I still find myself thanking God for this home that I love. I could have thought the appendicitis mentioned before, or the long delays for the buyers (who I believe are still living at Stony Hill), or the rent in Colebrook falling through at the last minute and then George's job loss, our money problems, were signs that we should not have moved, but we persevered. We are fortunate to have lived in Barkhamsted since 1985 and we never dreamed we would have had a house built. We have never had past due credit card debt again. Sometimes blessings take the scenic route that we didn't expect to get there and when they do, we are all the more thankful. 

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens"

Ecclesiastes 3:1

Kind words: The best medicine Daily Reflection #12

Before I move on in my posts about our next home, I wanted to touch on an incident that happened a couple of months before we moved from Norfolk. Our daughter, Tiffany, left our first home with one less body part. That should have gotten your attention.

Tiffany was five years old and had a fever and stomachache. I took her to the pediatrician and they said it was the flu or some kind of virus. I don't remember what. When she didn't get better in a couple of days, I called back the office and the office person told me that these bugs take time, it will pass. I wasn't pleased with the answer, but I didn't know to question or push the staff.

I can clearly remember the day when we said, "Enough is enough" and I remember George scooping her up and carrying her to the car. We took her to the emergency room on Spencer Street in Winsted. We saw as she laid on the table and the doctor brought her knee up to her chest and she reacted in pain. I remember her pediatrician had done the same thing, but because she reacted in pain with both sides, he disregarded it as being her appendix.

It was close to rupturing, and they took her into surgery immediately. We couldn't believe a five-year-old having appendicitis but so grateful to God that we got her there in time. 

The Winsted Hospital was downsizing and no longer had a pediatrics department. Therefore, Tiffany was the only child in the hospital at that time and I truly think some of the staff didn't know how to work with children. She was in there for eight days. and I went to visit her every day after my morning shift at the post office. I may have visited again in the afternoon after my afternoon shift, I don't remember, but however often I went, there was someone on the hospital staff that thought it was too much. She reprimanded me for coming so often (and often bringing her a little toy--remember too, that this hospital was not equipped for children). She told me that I was spoiling her and because of my visits and gifts, Tiffany was enjoying the attention and was not trying to get well. I think her part of trying to get well was walking the hall every day. I can't imagine a child wanting to be there. 

When that nurse told me that, I broke down in tears. We had almost lost our child and I was being told I was spoiling her and hindering her getting well. I remember being in the hallway crying. I also remember Susan Forsyth, a nurse who lived in East Hartland (a customer at the post office where I worked), came and comforted me. I have never forgotten her kindness and I did tell her that much later. I needed that so much at that time. 

The greatest lesson I learned from this, is to keep questioning the medical staff if you know something is not right. We have to be an advocate for others in their pain and struggles and additionally, Susan was the medicine I needed for my hurting heart. You never know how powerful your words can be. I don't remember what she said, but that she took the time to say it and comfort me. Spread kind words. How true this verse is: "Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." Proverbs 16:24. Amen.

The House, Daily Reflection #11

We were pretty happy to be married only five months when we were able to buy our cute little first house in Norfolk. It was a sweet little ranch with an actual staircase to the attic. It was on thirteen acres of wooded land. The older couple, the Porters, who lived there had actually built the place in their later years and we know they didn't really want to leave, but it was no longer easy for them to live there. We got to meet them when they were selling their special home, and they even left us a bottle of wine in the fridge when we moved in. When we ran into them later, we offered for them to come up and visit, but they said they just couldn't. 

The Porters were avid gardeners. Every year I tried to keep up knowing the name of the flowers that were blooming. We tried our hand at the vegetable garden which we were still reaping the benefits of some previous vegetables they had planted that kept coming up. But the biggest surprise treasure was the cultivated raspberry patch. So, delicious and so plentiful. We were even able to sell them at the local store. Stupid us, first year, we didn't realize that you always sell delicate raspberries, not by the quart but the pint. We sure gave people a bargain the first year of selling. We maxed at 450 pints one year. We tried to move some of the plants to my parent's house but I don't think they ever took.

At one point in time, we went to a boy scout camp that were auctioning off all their cabins. All the other people buying them were disassembling them and using the materials Not us, we hired a company to move it to our property. (Side note: someone stole our windows before we moved it. It should not have been too hard for the police to figure out who it was, but they did not pursue it.) It was quite a site seeing the truck carrying our house up our 450 foot long hill! It became our place to have the kids birthday parties, for one thing. We looked into starting a business of a party cabin and I would plan birthday parties for kids there. I so could have done that as I always gave themed parties with plenty of games. The cost of insurance for such a business killed that dream. We also thought the thirteen acres would make a pretty neat campground, but we never pursued that. 

Now that I've mentioned the albatross, I'll talk about the driveway. The house came with a jeep with a plow. If Mr. Porter, a senior citizen, had conquered that driveway with it, we could do it too. However, the first year, it died. I don't think we ever got to use it. It did start when we bought the house. Side note here: the septic system also went one week after we moved in! We didn't blame the Porters and we even purchased our spaceship looking like septic tank from someone we had met at the Big E, I digress.

We tackled that driveway with snowblowers, which seemed to break cotter pins often. Later we paid to have it paved thinking that would help. I'm sure it must have a little, but it didn't feel like it did. I can also remember standing there in tears shoveling a path up to the house. I don't know if we ever had anyone plow that driveway, maybe once. At times we parked at the bottom of the hill and pulled the groceries in a plastic shed to the top. Let me remind you, this was Norfolk, CT, the coldest and snowiest town in Connecticut. We lived there during the blizzard of '78. I can remember being pregnant in 1979 and trudging through knee deep snow that hill. 

Both of our kids were born while we lived there. They were one of four reasons we decided to move: we were outgrowing our cute little home, it was a toll call to my parents in East Hartland, it was a distance from our jobs and finally that driveway. We might have stayed, we could always add on and George grew up in Norfolk and liked his hometown, but that driveway...

I have to add one happy memory of that driveway. Our first year living there we threw an adult Halloween party with all kinds of crazy games for the adults to act like kids. People had to park at the bottom and hike up. Joe Sverni, George's good friend and an usher in our wedding, rented a gorilla costume. He picked a spot behind a tree halfway up our driveway and I'll leave the rest to your imagination. 

I have more to say on what happened when we left our first home, but I've gone on long enough this time. The lesson from all this: Although there were reasons to grumble and shed a few tears at our first home, we were so blessed to have had that home so early in our 20's and the experiences we had there. We also learned to look at the driveway first when purchasing a home. 

"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 

I Thessalonians 5:18

Only child, but not alone Daily Reflection #10

I am an only child. For most of my life I had wished I had a sibling. Growing up, I had fantasized how nice it must be to have someone to play with at any time or how nice to have someone else to commiserate with me when I thought my parents were being unfair. I envied my friends, all but one had siblings. 

As an adult, I wished I had a sibling just to talk to about things and was jealous of adult siblings who could reminisce and share memories about their childhood together. I have also wished I had an adult sibling to help me, help my parents. 

As I got older, I realized just all the benefits of having my parents all to myself--all their attention and love, the closeness, just the three of us. And let's face it, one kid is a lot less expensive and so they could spend more money and time on me. Although I didn't have siblings, I don't think I was bored. I pursued many solo hobbies that maybe I would not have chosen if I had had a sibling. I have so much to be grateful for. I also learned that not all siblings are close, and the grass wasn't always as green in those other yards as I thought. 

I found that friendships could be as deep as sibling relationships. I have been so blessed to enjoy so many friendships over the years. I cherish all those who I can call "friend". I appreciate our church family too. I am not an only child by any means. I thank God for friendships and family.

"A sweet friendship refreshes the soul."

Proverbs 27:9

The Race Daily Reflection #9

We recently watched a cool animated video comparing the speed of animals. We were surprised by some of the comparisons. Turtles are slow but look fast compared to a sloth or snail. It was amazing to see ostriches and kangaroos only using two legs each, but were faster than leopards, giraffes or zebras. Of course, the cheetah was the fastest at 55-80 mph. 

We all have our own strengths and abilities. We are each running our own race Sometimes it's a sprint and sometimes it's a crawl. Sometimes we are on a straight racetrack and other times a path in the woods. We just go where and how life leads us and there sure are surprises along the way. The important thing is to run a fair race, play by the rules and to do the best of our ability, so that in the end we can proclaim, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." 2 Timothy 4:7. Keep pressing on.

"Deb, This is Dad" Daily Reflection #8

Whenever my Dad calls me, he always says, "Deb, this is Dad." I smile to myself because I have caller id and I know it's him before I answer. Next clue, there are only a few people who call me Deb. Third, after all these years, I surely recognize his voice.

When I call him, I just say, "Hi Dad". He doesn't have caller id but he doesn't have any other children, so I don't feel the need to tell him it's me. He knows. 

It's pretty much like our heavenly father, he doesn't need us to identify ourselves. Even though, I am not his only child, he recognizes my voice and he knows us all by our voices and each of our names or nicknames.

The trickier part is listening to God when he speaks, to learn to discern his voice or signs in our life. Thankfully, we have the Bible to guide us and teach us how to listen. Help me to recognize my heavenly father's voice, just as I know my earthly father's voice. "He that has ears to hear, let him hear." (Matthew 11:15). 

"Blessed are those who hear the word of God and obey it."

Luke 11:28

Why is it? Daily Reflection #7

Why is it?

We like to go to local theater productions. What annoys me is nine times out of ten, they never publish up front what the admission price is. I have to go on their website and select the date and sometimes even which seats. I can understand if matinees are cheaper or there are different prices for different seats, but couldn't they still give me a ballpark? Tickets $10-$25 or $25-$50. Why do I have to jump through hoops to get to the top-secret charge? I pick a date and then select seats and then I see the price. Then I start over and pick a date and different seats to see if the charge is different. Some venues, the tickets are all the same price. I don't understand why they can't publish them up front on their webpage. There has got to be a reason. Just a silly little thing that bugs me.

Then there are those ads online that suck you in with a video that is going to change your life from some new miracle cure or a fantastic new invention. You start watching and are intrigued and have to keep watching to find out how much this cost. These are videos that usually don't give you the option of fast forwarding. You have to sit through the whole thirty-minute video (or let it play out while you do something else) to get to the price. And if you are lucky, there will be a "But wait!" and there will be added bonuses or a discount. I have two rules of thumb(s) regarding sales. 1) If it's a video that you can't fast forward through and requires sitting through an undisclosed length of time, I will not watch it. You can keep your miracle product. 2) If you are salesman in person and you tell me that this offer is only good right now and won't be good tomorrow. I say, "Goodbye". It's a turn off and how ridiculous that it's only ok for me today when tomorrow you will offer the same deal to someone else. 

Of course, there wasn't money in the garden of Eden, but boy, did eating of that fruit tree come with a big cost. If only there was a warning of just how much that fruit would cost them and their generations afterwards until Jesus paid the final installment. Adam and Eve were sold a bill of goods by Satan without questioning the price--just thinking about the miracle cure they were getting and for free. Talk about a bait and switch. 

I pray that I pay attention to the cost of things, so I can be wise with my money but also be aware of the cost others, especially Jesus, have paid for me and help me to show gratitude in my life. 

"Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law."

Romans 13:8