"All My Love"

 

This treasure is the only card I have from my Mom's mother, the grandmother who I never knew. She passed away when I was 3. I have two pictures of her and me taken at Christmas and I don't know if those might even be the last ones taken of her--almost exactly a year before she died of tuberculosis. 

I have absolutely no recollection of her, I am sad to say. I am also sad that my mother did not share more about her, but I think it just hurt her too much for so long to lose her so young and now I can understand that a little better.

I say I never knew her, but she knew me. I am quite a sentimental person and I actually shed a few tears as I found this card that she had inscribed, "All my love and a great Big Kiss, Grandmother." "All my love" is a strong statement. I was her only grandchild and now I know what a blessing grandchildren can be. I am glad that God gave me to her for a brief time to brighten her life. I know the feelings my mother must have felt about all the things my grandmother was going to miss out on in my life, watching me grow and for me, to grow to love her, though, I am sure I did. I know those unspoken hurts lived with my mother for a long time. I, only now, can really understand that pain my mother must have felt missing her mom and thinking about all she missed out on. I think about my grandchildren and hope my love for them will be evident in my photos should memories fade. 

These cards remind me of God. He knows me, he loves me, but I don't know him as well as he knows me. Fortunately for me, God has left us books of the Bible to get to know him better and letters written by his followers. I don't have as many documents about my grandmother. I would love some letters written by her, but I only have this card, but really, what more do I need than a card that says, "all my love" with a big kiss added? Those few words say so much. I was loved and I hope my 2-year-old-self hugged her and kissed her back. 

God has proved his love through our wonderful blessings here on earth and sending Jesus so we can live eternally in heaven. I guess God's Bible is one big card with a lot more words but I'm sure it could be signed like this card, "All my love.". 

 

A Lesson from a Child and Cotton Candy

There's a new pebble on our beach. Well, she's actually been here for a couple of years, but her shape and colors are starting to show. Our newest granddaughter is fearless and at times I laugh at her antics like going all in, headfirst into a ball of cotton candy, and other times I cringe in fear as she leaps from a chair--I have a fear, the fear that she does not have. 

I think she may think that she has wings and can actually fly when she fearlessly jumps off of things. She dives into everything headfirst--whether it be trying to keep up with older kids with whatever they are doing or even eating cotton candy--no concern of getting sticky. She just lives life! She knows what she wants, and she just goes for it.

Was I ever that way? I'm not sure, but I know if I was, that life experiences taught me to be cautious and wary. It's a good thing and helps avoid stitches and sticky things. I, for one, don't like to get dirty or sticky and that may be our difference. But if I were more like Zion, how much more could I accomplish? We let fear sometimes take control. We think about just how sticky we will get putting our whole face full in the cotton candy, and we weigh the pros and cons. Yes, wisdom comes with age on the neatest way to enjoy the sugary treat but imagine being able to live life with pure abandonment. 

I think God wants us to have the "go for it!" attitude in our walk. So often we let what others may think control our actions. I don't want to be unliked for my words or actions. I don't want people to judge me. I can easily conform to the crowd. Yet, God is the final judge. Whom should, I fear? Why am I afraid to stand up for my beliefs? Why can't I share with everyone the importance of God in my life? Why? Because life is sticky, and I have learned going headfirst into cotton candy has its consequences. Evangelizing can lead to criticism or even being made to look like a fool. 

I think what I have learned is a balance. Unless you eat cotton candy with a spoon or maybe chopsticks (?) it's going to be sticky. There is no neat way to eat it. I have learned tearing off a piece with my fingers, gets only my fingers sticky and I can lick them clean. (I tried to show my granddaughter this and she thought I was stealing a piece from her, and she got very upset.) 

We can try and show others Jesus's love little by little, piece by piece by how we live our lives and why we believe what we believe. But there are times when situations may be appropriate to dive in headfirst, in times of trouble and danger. I love the scene in "Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade" when he realizes the only way across the deep chasm is to step out in faith and the bridge magically appears when he takes the first step. We may need to put aside our fears. Just share the truth about Jesus with a dying friend or a friend being swallowed by life's sorrows. We are in this sticky life together. God give us wisdom when to dive in headfirst and take that step out in faith and when to share little by little. Thank you, Jesus, for lessons from children.

Layers of Life

When I saw this, I thought that this is like life--it comes in layers, layers of brightness and happiness, dark times, good times all layered upon each other making our pattern of life. If we could see the ripples of our life, I think this is how it could look. I thought this was beautiful and although we don't like it, we have to take the good and the bad and look at the beauty and good in the whole picture. In the end, it makes a beautiful life. 

When God is not carrying us

 

Just a short reflection--

I was thinking of the footprints picture when God carries the person through the rough times. This morning it came to mind that in our daily walk, when we don't need to be carried, that Jesus is the staff or walking stick that we lean on. He provides what is needed to see us through the tough and unfamiliar terrain. The staff can protect us from dangers, stable us when we are unsteady and provide us something to lean on when we need to rest. Always have your walking stick by your side..

Shadows

Continuing with my notes on sermons, I loved this one that connected the shadows mentioned in the Bible. I am using as a basis another sermon by awesome Steve Gwilt. I love it when the sun is out on a walk with my grandkids and I can point out their shadow and they can play trying to get away from it or making shadow puppets. But shadows are temporary and this verse reminds us that our life on earth is short, like a  shadow.

Likewise our lives cast a shadow. What kind of shadow are we casting upon this earth? Is our shadow from the sun or the Son? If God thinks it is important to create a shadow of things on earth, we should pay attention. 

Steve's research pointed out that shadows can also represent things to come. Colossians 2:17 "These are a shadow of the things that were to come; the reality, however, is found in Christ." Sacrifices were a shadow of Jesus's ultimate sacrifice (Hebrews 9:23-26). Mana was a shadow of Jesus, the bread of life. The law, an eye for an eye, was replaced with vengeance is in God's hands (Romans 12:19). The tabernacle was a shadow of heavenly things. (Hebrews 8:5). The tree of life is in Geniuses and in Revelations. God's shadows are deliberate. "God's plan is like a tapestry--we see the back side. It doesn't make much sense to us. When we see if from the other side of death, we will be in awe." This life is the shadow.

Other shadows in the Bible are the familiar, valley of the shadow of death in the 23rd Psalms and there is also longing for evening shadows in Job 7:2.

My favorite mention of shadows in the Bible is the as God our protector under the shadow of his wings, (Psalm 91:4 and Psalm 17:8), made popular by the beautiful song. The important thing to remember here, in order to be under the shadow of his wings, you need to be close to God to begin with. My take away from this: to be in the protection of the shadow of God's wings, you need to be close and follow the Son.

I found that the dictionary says a shadow is the interception of  rays from a source of light. For a Christian, the source of light makes all the difference in the shadow that is cast. What kind of a shadow are you casting? Are you showing God's love by taking others under the shadow of your wings? 

Know

     

It is hard to admit as a life long Christian that there are times when I have doubted. Is there really a God? Is there really a heaven? Did Jesus really raise from the dead? We have been told by some that it is all a bunch of bunk and we are gullible fools to believe. 

There are some who I have heard say they were "believing" for a kind of insurance incase it is true. I am not so sure that's going to fly in the end. I don't think God wants a tiny piece of our heart that we will rely on when judgement comes, "I didn't say you didn't exist" but did you truly believe? James 2:19 says that even demons believe. 

I attend church regularly but to keep my focus on the preacher, I take notes in a notebook. I then file it away rarely looking at them again. I had some notebooks where I made a reference list of the Bible verses mentioned and the sermons they were mentioned in so I could look them up. It might have been handy a couple of times, but in my journey to save less stuff, years of notes were purged. 

Before I purge my latest notebook, I have decided to re-read my notes and use this blog to share my thoughts and ideas from some sermons. Some are my thoughts and some are of the teacher, and I pray all are "approved by God."

From a sermon called "A Sure Salvation" by Steve Gwilt, I gleaned some of these thoughts combined with my own. It felt good to hear that doubt is good and helps us to grow. Phew! Doubt should have us seeking the truth in the Bible, our compass, where am I headed? Doubt can teach us to grow and re-focus and even make our faith stronger. 

What makes one doubt? Well, surely the world we live in is constantly testing our faith. Sometimes life is just too hard and we wonder why God would let things happen. As long as man has free will, there will be good and bad. We have choices for our responses to life and when we take a "wrong turn", we can always turn around in the other direction. Did you ever stop to think that when you doubt that you are actually calling God a liar? Don't give up on God as he never will give up on you.

If you are in a season of doubt, pursue prayer, the Bible, worship and fellowship. I find church attendance is a blessing to be able to be with like minded Christians. We are so fortunate in this country to have that freedom. Attending a church helps us to center our lives on Jesus. 

And as others are on their life journey, whether they are unsure of what they believe or don't believe at all or believe and are going through trials, the most important thing we can do is to be loving towards them. Love is mentioned 294 times in the new testament and 26 times in I John as agape love meaning giving and selfless. 

Today: Know and Love. 

Reflections on Wednesday of Holy Week

This year I have been doing a little studying on what happened on each day of Holy Week. Today I learned about Wednesday. First was noted that Jesus sent two of his disciples to find a particular home owner and to prepare a room for Thursday's last supper. The second notable event was also a preparation for something--for Judas's betrayal. Two disciples went to obey Jesus, the other to forsake him.

In re-reading the latter event (Matthew 26:14-16) it struck me this time that the priests did not come to Judas asking him to betray Jesus, but Judas went to them and asked how much they would pay him. Somehow in my mind I had twisted the story that the priests sought out Judas and having to make a quick decision with money as the motive, he decided to betray Jesus. This wasn't the case. With pre-meditation he sought to betray Jesus. It wasn't a decision made on the fly. How very sad. This was another prophecy fulfilled.

As I think about these passages, I wander down many rabbit trails. One I wanted to investigate was just what was the value of  30 pieces of silver. The internet has many different answers and they all don't agree. So, what source is best? The Bible, of course.

In Zechariah 14 when he asks for pay for what they think he is worth, they paid him 30 pieces of silver. He threw it down. A slave/servant gored by an ox was valued at 30 pieces, where a free person was valued at 60. There you have it, the symbolic meaning and prophecy of 30 pieces of silver for Jesus who came as a servant to the people. Side note: poor Joseph was sold by his brothers for only 20 pieces of silver--makes me wonder about the term, "worth more dead than alive". 

Skip ahead for a moment, for those who don't know the events, later Judas throws down the money in the temple and goes off and hangs himself. And that brought me to a seemingly unending source of rabbit trails. In researching when Judas died, I am led to believe it was after Jesus rose from the dead sometime. Some sources imply he was with the other disciples when they saw Jesus. I cannot fathom they would have allowed the traitor to be with them, unless he was so wrought with guilt and they somehow took Jesus's teachings to heart and forgave him or in the darkness when Judas kissed Jesus, were they blind to what he had done? Jesus had told them one would betray him, so I think they should have realized. Another rabbit trail  I am also surprised that in his greed that Judas hadn't spent the 30 pieces of silver, but still had them, perhaps symbolically weighing down on him in guilt? Having them jingle in his pouch, a constant reminder of what he had done. Perhaps he didn't really believe in his heart that Jesus was the Messiah until he rose from the dead. Was he there at the crucifixion and perhaps the words, "Forgive them not for they know not what they do" were for him too. Did those words break him? There are so many rabbit trails here to explore another time.

One last thought, my mind also wandered as to why wouldn't the priests recognize Jesus after all his appearances at the temple? There are passages where Jesus left the temple without being noticed. This implies that he was ordinary looking. Also they had planned to grab him during the night to avoid any riots and it would be harder to recognize him in the dark--remember no street lights. 

I will now remember Wednesday of Holy Week as the day of two preparations: the preparation of the upper room and the day the Judas prepares to betray Jesus, a day of good and evil intentions. 

Please note, I am not a biblical scholar and these are just my reflections. I stand open to any corrections one might want to bring to my attention.